Monty Python and the Fractured Ankle

* alternatively: Monty Python and the Holy Grail

as told by a momentary cripple

I'd heard half the lines, seen gifs and images all over the internet, and yet, I'd never watched Monty Python and the Holy Grail. So I decided to strap on my orthopaedic boot, grab my laptop, and settle in for a wild ride. (And wild, it was.)

(Look at that attractive thing on my foot.
Things I have learned this week: don't do gymnastics. Ever.)

Here's the thing -- I knew from the get-go that the budget for Monty Python and the Holy Grail was next to nothing for a proper, full length, feature film. The film was created by a comedy group -- Monty Python -- in 1975 and follows King Arthur and his knights of the Round Table on their quest to find the Holy Grail. I wasn't expecting much, but I was sorely mistaken in thinking this movie wouldn't become one of my absolute favourites.

The first thing you see is all the credits, as was normal for a film released in the 1970's. Except there are Swedish subtitles for the credits, and they start getting a little wonky, talking about taking a holiday and Sweden and people getting bitten by a moose. And then this happens:

(Hilarity ensues.)

The credits continue, with such interludes including: "We apologise again for the fault in the subtitles. Those responsible for sacking the people who have just been sacked have been sacked," and "The directors of the firm hired to continue the credits after the other people had been sacked, wish it to be known that they have just been sacked." 

The moment the credits finished, I thought, "Yes, this is my kind of film."

I was not disappointed.

From the moment the movie started, with King Arthur riding majestic through a bout of fog -- only for it to be revealed that he doesn't have a horse and the sounds of hooves clomping on the ground are actually being made by King Arthur's servant clapping coconuts together -- it occurred to me just how hilarious Monty Python's sense of humour was. The entire film consisted of ridiculous insults, childish one-liners, and drawn out scenes that consist of nothing but people arguing about the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow and if they understand orders. (They don't, by the way.)

King Arthur and his knights travel for years to find the Holy Grail and encounter plenty of strange people along the way -- they kill a lot of people, too -- and in the end, all that happens is that they get arrested. The plot doesn't make a whole lot of sense and doesn't really go anywhere, if I'm being honest, but that wasn't the point of the movie. The point was that I don't think I stopped laughing from the moment the credits started rolling until the last scene ended - and even now, I'm laughing just thinking about it.

At times, it's easy to tell the budget for the film was practically non-existent (my personal favourite: King Arthur and his knights are attacked by Frenchmen who proceed to fling farm animals over the castle walls; the director used a toy cow, flung it at a camera that was stuck into someone's back garden, and called it special effects), and most of the hilarity of the film comes from how utterly dumb the comedy is, but Monty Python and the Holy Grail has been a favourite movie of plenty of people since its release.

Have you ever heard someone yell, "BRING OUT YOUR DEAD!"? That's from Monty Python. What about "Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!"? That's from Monty Python, too. Whether or not your sense of humour lines up with the writers and directors of the film, there's no way you can ignore the catchy-ness of the whole thing.

Like this scene, possibly my favourite of the whole movie, where King Arthur and his knights face some horribly French taunting (featuring the flying cow):

Or this scene, in which King Arthur must defeat a fearless knight in order to pass a bridge:

"It's just a flesh wound!"

The lack of a budget was played up wonderfully, as well, what with the pretend-horses and purposely added lines ("Camelot!" "It's just a model." "Shhh!"), not to mention the randomly added animations and use of the actors for several parts each. Of course, I have to give special mention to the Knights Who Say Ni and the magnificent Enchanter Tim.

There isn't much depth you can go into with a movie like Monty Python and the Holy Grail, but I don't believe that was the point -- Monty Python was around to give us all a few good laughs, and that's exactly what happened.

Was the acting the best? Not exactly. Was the plot perfect? Nope. Were the special effects anywhere near satisfying? No way. But will I be seeing this movie again and again whenever I need a good laugh? Certainly. I'm not someone who rates movies how actual critics rate movies -- I like movies that entertain me or make me feel something or have really attractive men in them.

So I rate Monty Python and the Holy Grail a total of six and a half cookies out of a possible five (because, really) and commend Monty Python for entertaining an injured girl like me. (Good job, John Cleese. You're a bro.)

I leave you with this, the majestic Knights of the Round Table on their (totally not imaginary) horses. Stay safe, kids.